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A relationship is made up of 2 people with shared hobbies, interests, and affection for 1 another, who create a bond that's greater than the sum of all those individual parts. I of the hallmarks of a successful relationship is a commitment to one another. Still, information technology'south also of import for people in a relationship to maintain their own independence–whether you lot've only started dating or have been married for xxx years. Luckily, by setting bated time to yourself, communicating boundaries, and maintaining a healthy human relationship with your partner, staying independent can exist piece of cake and even make your relationship stronger.

  1. 1

    Cultivate hobbies and interests apart from your partner. Don't let being in a relationship keep you from doing the things you want to do. Accept hobbies and interests you don't share with your partner to help nurture your independence and maintain your sense of cocky.[ane]

    • Take this opportunity to detect something y'all similar doing that your partner doesn't necessarily relish. This way, you tin can affirm your independence and pursue a hobby that won't ask any sacrifice of your partner.
    • Across being a source of independence, hobbies tin can too accept a huge affect on your well-being. Studies show that hobbies like painting, writing, and hiking can lower blood pressure, promote creative thinking, and foster a sense of satisfaction. Retrieve this when you tell your partner why independent hobbies are a practiced affair!

  2. 2

    Accept a space you tin telephone call your ain. If y'all're living together with your partner, having a role of the dwelling house all to yourself is crucial to maintaining your independence. Set aside an area of the house where you lot can go to exist by yourself and your partner won't disturb you lot.[2]

    • You should ensure your partner won't disturb you by communicating your desire to have your own infinite and explaining the situation to them. Don't just lock yourself in a room and not tell your South.O. where you lot are!
    • If you're setting bated part of a shared residence as your own, be sure to put only your own stuff in the area, whether information technology's a room or a corner of a room.
    • Your independent space can also be a public place (e.g., a coffee shop or public park) yous can get to spend time away from your partner. Your space only needs to be private in the context of your relationship, not necessarily the residue of the world.[three]
    • Encourage your partner to have a similar space for themselves.

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  3. 3

    Spend time with your own friends and family. Information technology's easy to end seeing your other friends when you're in a relationship and become dependent on your partner for social interaction. Brand time to come across friends and family on a regular footing to help maintain your independence.[4]

    • How often to come across friends and family ultimately depends on your own social needs. As oft every bit in one case a calendar week or every bit seldom as once a month might be all you need to maintain a healthy social life outside your relationship.
    • Your friends and family volition also serve as a support group when your human relationship goes through hard times and will assist to keep yous grounded. Call back, they love you for you.
    • To best maintain a unique sense of identity, make sure to spend time with your own friends equally well every bit mutual friends of your partner.[v]

  4. 4

    Take a suspension from the relationship when you lot demand to. Although you lot're part of a relationship, you also need to brand sure to take intendance of your own needs as an individual. When you feel overwhelmed, don't be afraid to take time away from beingness in a relationship to focus on yourself and tend to your own needs.[six]

    • This is more almost taking a mental intermission than anything else, and so information technology can concluding however long you need. Sometimes taking only a day (or even less!) to yourself is all it takes to get yourself back to normal.
    • Being able to exist by yourself without your partner volition increase your sense of cocky-worth and go a long way towards fostering a sense of independence. Prolonged absence will also have the side effect of making your partner'southward company more bonny!
    • Be sure to communicate with your partner first before embarking on your independent mini-vacation. Paradoxically, maintaining your independence should exist something your partner supports you in.

  5. 5

    Stay true to your partner during time off. Taking time abroad from your partner to maintain your independence does not mean seeing other people. Maintain your commitment to your relationship past not betraying your partner's trust when taking time off.

    • If you lot're taking time away because you feel overwhelmed and want to reassert your independence, having an affair might seem similar a tempting way of accomplishing this goal. However, affairs can be devastating when discovered past monogamous partners and your relationship may not recover if you betray your partner's trust this way.[7]
    • Reassuring your partner of your fidelity is as well a primal aspect of taking time away from the relationship. Call back, open communication is very important.

  6. half dozen

    Prioritize your goals for yourself. Being independent ways having a self-identity that isn't subsumed past your human relationship and its impact on you. Don't let yourself lose sight of what kind of person y'all want to exist; yous shouldn't cede your goals for yourself on the altar of your relationship.[8]

    • Talking to friends and family is a good way of "checking in" on yourself every at present and then to come across if you lot're even so the kind of person you lot want to be.
    • If y'all always find yourself at a point where you're no longer happy with who you are, that may be a sign that something (peradventure even the human relationship) needs to change.

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  1. ane

    Set good for you boundaries for your relationship. All good for you relationships accept boundaries that recognize each private's personal independence and happiness. Communicate with your partner about setting boundaries that volition maintain your independence and take care of your needs in the relationship.[9]

    • For example, if in that location are things you feel uncomfortable doing for your partner (e.g., lying for them), tell them you lot're not willing to do this.
    • Exist direct when setting boundaries, but also be articulate about your reasoning; make sure your partner knows that the boundaries y'all gear up have nothing to do with your feelings towards them equally a person.
    • Don't utilize absolute linguistic communication or threats when setting your boundaries. This is unrealistic and may end upward alienating your partner.

  2. 2

    Be open near your desire for independence. Whatever yous're doing to maintain your independence, you'll desire to keep your partner informed and reassured. Talk to your partner about why you want to exist independent and remind them that you're nonetheless invested in the relationship.[10]

    • Make sure y'all frame your words in a way that adequately conveys your concerns without hurting your partner'southward feelings. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would feel hearing this chat from them. They may feel hurt that you desire to spend less time with them and think it's their fault.
    • Remember, open and honest communication about any and all bug is essential for any healthy relationship.

  3. 3

    Stand upwardly for what'due south important to you. While you should be willing to compromise and brand sacrifices in a relationship, you should too brand certain you're always in control of your own priorities. Be willing to stand your ground on things that matter to you lot and don't let your partner sway yous abroad from them.[11]

    • This doesn't mean you lot should never compromise. Rather, make up one's mind what morals or values are non-negotiable for you and be willing to reasonably compromise on everything else.
    • Don't change your personality for another person. If yous're an extrovert in a relationship with an introvert, find time with them equally well as other interpersonal interactions.
    • For example, if evenly dividing the responsibilities for chores is important to you, say so in a firm simply respectful way. Exist willing to adjust your partner where you can, just don't let them sway yous on things yous care securely nearly.

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  1. i

    Encourage your partner's independence and growth. For a relationship to be healthy it needs to be balanced, with each partner investing in both the human relationship and in themselves. While nurturing your own independence, encourage your partner to pursue theirs as well and to maintain their sense of self-identity.[12]

    • For case, tell your partner information technology's ok for them to spend time with their friends and family, to go to movies or concerts without yous, or to accept their own hobbies they don't share with you lot.
    • Yous should prepare expectations for independence in the relationship as soon every bit yous can. It'll exist much harder to nurture independence in both partners if you're fighting against codependent conventions that have already been established in the relationship.

  2. ii

    Don't wait your partner to share all your interests. Sometimes people complain that their partner doesn't like the same things they exercise. However, a healthy human relationship should be between unique individuals. Adjourn your expectations and remind yourself that you don't need your partner to validate your interests.[13]

    • While relationships are oft congenital on shared interests and hobbies, it'southward a fault to expect your partner to like all of your interests and hobbies as well. Bearing this in mind will help you lot realize it's ok to maintain your own independent hobbies.

  3. 3

    Check in on your mental wellness. You lot should never let your relationship make you doubtfulness yourself, your self-worth, or the validity of your hopes and dreams. Think to take stock of how you're feeling about yourself and your life every once in a while and don't let yourself place your human relationship before your own mental and emotional wellbeing.[14]

    • Losing sight of your own goals and cocky-worth is a common issue that a lot of people in relationships run into. E'er keep in mind that your self-validation isn't dependent on beingness in a relationship.

  4. 4

    Ask for help if you demand it. Information technology's like shooting fish in a barrel to get dependent on your partner for emotional support when you're in a human relationship. However, being independent necessarily involves being able to look elsewhere for that type of back up. Don't exist afraid to ask for help and seek out support when you need information technology.[xv]

    • If you're a pupil, reach out to your student'due south counseling center and see about making an engagement to speak to a counselor.
    • Friends and family who take gone through relationships or who you trust being vulnerable with are peculiarly good sources of emotional back up in trying times.
    • Remember, being independent in a relationship doesn't mean going it lonely!

  5. 5

    Recognize if the relationship has become codependent or abusive. Codependent and abusive relationships are unhealthy for a variety of reasons and volition certainly hinder you in your pursuit of independence and growth. Keep an centre out for signs that your relationship may be becoming harmful.

    • An abusive human relationship can feature any sort of abuse, whether it be physical, verbal, or emotional. If your partner hits you, berates you, gaslights yous, or emotionally blackmails you, they are being calumniating.[16]
    • Healthy boundaries are very important in a healthy relationship. If yous experience similar you have lost all your boundaries and do not have an independent personal life, y'all may be in a codependent relationship.[17]
    • If you're in an abusive relationship, seek help. Motility in with family unit and friends for a while or consider temporarily living in a domestic violence shelter.

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